Part Three: The Hidden Diary of Bin Laden and God (The Passerby)
Part Three: The Hidden Diary of Bin Laden and God (The Passerby)
Bin thinking: ‘Oh, Lord look at this mess, Bagdad is worse than I thought, I should have told Allah, I’d prefer Afghanistan, you know, my home away from home, here they are shooting up the place.’
(He looks up and sees rockets coming in every which way, like cats and dogs raining from the sky).
‘This is not my cup of tea (he adds), got to find some shields, some good Egyptians or those folks from Jordon will do.’
A Passerby: “Hay mister you look somewhat like that Laden guy, you know… (he hesitates to think of his first name, continues and says:), Laden, laden…!”
Bin Laden comments: “His first name idiot is Bin, Bin you got it?”
The Passerby: “Man, don’t get so uptight, he’s dead and gone, we’ve forgotten his brow long ago…brother!”
Bin: “What do you mean, forgot!”
The Passerby: “Dead is dead man, in Bagdad you get a lot of it, where you’ve been man, I mean, homey?”
Bin: “I’ve only been gone a few hours, or is it days, whatever, I mean whatever!”
The Passerby: “That’s not allowed if you’re a true infidel fighter like us here.”
Bin: “What is not allowed?”
The Passerby: “Saying ‘whatever,’ like those young punks in America…you got it— Laden look alike?”
Bin: “I’m not a look alike, I am the real thing, Bin Laden in the flesh.”
The Passerby: “I don’t think soooo…but if, then you should know better; plus playing Bin Laden is worse than playing Elvis, I suppose you’ll be playing him next?”
Bin: “I’m for real man, not like those Elvis imitators, I’m the real thing.”
The Passerby: “You’re the only thing naked around here; you should find some cloths (thinking he might have been hit by a flying piece of debris), you that poor brother? I mean, just go down to the Army surplus store, USA, style, and tell them you’re on there side, get the goodies, and run back here like hell, and I’ll find you a gun or two and we can kill some infidel for the almighty Allah, and if we get killed we can go to heaven have vino and girls all over the place, I’m kind of looking forward to that.”
Bin: “Homey, the last part of your scenario, is full of it, there is no such glory in heaven as in having vino and girls.”
The Passerby: “How do you know? Now I know you’re a spy, only spies say such things, they want to take all the goodies, like those damn Americans, they got enough over yonder, and I got to suffer here in Bagdad, and you tell me there is no such thing…what’s a man to do for a freebee?”
All of a sudden rocks hit a few feet away from the passerby, Bin looks this way and that way, every-which- way, and quickly moves to a safer area, under a nearby bridge. The Passerby is hit with scraps of metal, one deep in his side, and is begging for Bin to come back and help him.
The Passerby: “Come back please, please Bin and help me.”
Bin: “Sure, sure,” he hollers, “now you believe me call me Bin when you want something, sure, sure, like Saddam, you guys are all alike, when it come down to life and limb, you’ll say anything.”
The Passerby: “But Bin, I’m a brother Arab, come save me, we can kill more infidels for Allah.”
Bin thinks about this for a moment thinking: Allah might be watching, this is a good moment perhaps to put on a good show, if I save the coward, maybe he’ll send be back to heaven, and get me out of this mess… thus, Bin starts to move to save him…
God: “I see you Bin, you’ve got better things to do, don’t worry about him, I got his number up here, he’s was about do anyhow, a few days here or there doesn’t matter, he killed enough for his pass to the whore house, that really isn’t a whore house as you’ve learned…hee, hee!”
Bin: “Shoots…I mean crap…I mean, it’s a bad day, can’t fool the almighty, what was I thinking about. Sorry fellow, that voice you just heard was the Almighty, he said your number is up, so I can’t do a thing for you. Incidentally, you’ll find out in a moment that little extra goodie package we all thought was waiting for us in yonder is not waiting.”
I can’t describe what he is saying to Bin, but he is giving him the finger in four differed geometrical designs.
1/21/2007 Humor
Bin thinking: ‘Oh, Lord look at this mess, Bagdad is worse than I thought, I should have told Allah, I’d prefer Afghanistan, you know, my home away from home, here they are shooting up the place.’
(He looks up and sees rockets coming in every which way, like cats and dogs raining from the sky).
‘This is not my cup of tea (he adds), got to find some shields, some good Egyptians or those folks from Jordon will do.’
A Passerby: “Hay mister you look somewhat like that Laden guy, you know… (he hesitates to think of his first name, continues and says:), Laden, laden…!”
Bin Laden comments: “His first name idiot is Bin, Bin you got it?”
The Passerby: “Man, don’t get so uptight, he’s dead and gone, we’ve forgotten his brow long ago…brother!”
Bin: “What do you mean, forgot!”
The Passerby: “Dead is dead man, in Bagdad you get a lot of it, where you’ve been man, I mean, homey?”
Bin: “I’ve only been gone a few hours, or is it days, whatever, I mean whatever!”
The Passerby: “That’s not allowed if you’re a true infidel fighter like us here.”
Bin: “What is not allowed?”
The Passerby: “Saying ‘whatever,’ like those young punks in America…you got it— Laden look alike?”
Bin: “I’m not a look alike, I am the real thing, Bin Laden in the flesh.”
The Passerby: “I don’t think soooo…but if, then you should know better; plus playing Bin Laden is worse than playing Elvis, I suppose you’ll be playing him next?”
Bin: “I’m for real man, not like those Elvis imitators, I’m the real thing.”
The Passerby: “You’re the only thing naked around here; you should find some cloths (thinking he might have been hit by a flying piece of debris), you that poor brother? I mean, just go down to the Army surplus store, USA, style, and tell them you’re on there side, get the goodies, and run back here like hell, and I’ll find you a gun or two and we can kill some infidel for the almighty Allah, and if we get killed we can go to heaven have vino and girls all over the place, I’m kind of looking forward to that.”
Bin: “Homey, the last part of your scenario, is full of it, there is no such glory in heaven as in having vino and girls.”
The Passerby: “How do you know? Now I know you’re a spy, only spies say such things, they want to take all the goodies, like those damn Americans, they got enough over yonder, and I got to suffer here in Bagdad, and you tell me there is no such thing…what’s a man to do for a freebee?”
All of a sudden rocks hit a few feet away from the passerby, Bin looks this way and that way, every-which- way, and quickly moves to a safer area, under a nearby bridge. The Passerby is hit with scraps of metal, one deep in his side, and is begging for Bin to come back and help him.
The Passerby: “Come back please, please Bin and help me.”
Bin: “Sure, sure,” he hollers, “now you believe me call me Bin when you want something, sure, sure, like Saddam, you guys are all alike, when it come down to life and limb, you’ll say anything.”
The Passerby: “But Bin, I’m a brother Arab, come save me, we can kill more infidels for Allah.”
Bin thinks about this for a moment thinking: Allah might be watching, this is a good moment perhaps to put on a good show, if I save the coward, maybe he’ll send be back to heaven, and get me out of this mess… thus, Bin starts to move to save him…
God: “I see you Bin, you’ve got better things to do, don’t worry about him, I got his number up here, he’s was about do anyhow, a few days here or there doesn’t matter, he killed enough for his pass to the whore house, that really isn’t a whore house as you’ve learned…hee, hee!”
Bin: “Shoots…I mean crap…I mean, it’s a bad day, can’t fool the almighty, what was I thinking about. Sorry fellow, that voice you just heard was the Almighty, he said your number is up, so I can’t do a thing for you. Incidentally, you’ll find out in a moment that little extra goodie package we all thought was waiting for us in yonder is not waiting.”
I can’t describe what he is saying to Bin, but he is giving him the finger in four differed geometrical designs.
1/21/2007 Humor
posted by Dennis and Rosa Siluk at 2:10 PM
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